Tag Archives: colonoscopy

“Have a Nice Day ….”

21 Jul

“Have a nice day …”

I wonder who said that for the very first time, to whom & under what circumstances. I imagine it was said with real feeling to someone who was a genuinely nice person after a pleasant time spent together. And I wonder if the person who was on the receiving end of that salutation liked & appreciated it so much that he or she passed it along.  Maybe that’s how it all got started & became one of the most often used things we say, not only to friends & loved ones, but to perfect strangers as well.

It not only may be used in a positive way but may also be used with an air of sarcasm, like, “Have a nice day, you creep,” said to someone who has been particularly obnoxious. But I like the positive use much more than the negative.

I also think it’s a salutation we just use because we’ve heard it a thousand times & it seems like a good thing to say. On the other hand, the person saying it to us (or that we may say it to) could have said something entirely opposite to us, like, “Screw you!” So looking at it that way, I’m convinced that when most of us say it, in some small way we kind of mean it or we would have thought of something else to say first … & that’s just cool.

All that went racing through my mind yesterday at my semi-annual dentist appointment. I was tilted WAY back in the chair; a light was blinding me from above & the dental hygienist had a scraping tool, a water-sucking tool, a drilling tool & both her hands in my mouth, mere inches from my brain. With what felt like yet another hand, she had a vice-grip lock on my lower lip. My first thought was, “Gee … I hope she’s not having a bad day …” AKA “I hope she’s having a nice day.” Anyone who is “up in there” that close to my brain needs to be feeling good, having some really swell thoughts & having had some great experiences before she got to me.

At the end of my appointment, my teeth were lily white & in great shape (“Look, Ma … no cavities”), I’d thought a lot about telling people to have a nice day & now I have a subject for this blog entry. Not bad for an hour in a dentist’s chair praying that the woman ministering to my teeth & gums has had absolutely EVERYTHING going her way for not only the hours before she & I had our encounter, but several days beforehand. (It’s all about the proximity to my brain.)

I thought about, “Have a nice day” off & on all day long yesterday. I thought about the dental hygienist & how, if I’d thought it would have ensured that she was having a nice day before she & I got together on a Wednesday morning & she spent that time “up in there” close to my brain with all those cutting / slicing tools, I would have sent her a greeting card by Hallmark designed especially with her in mind; hoping it would be a positive Hallmark Moment & send the message, “Have a nice day …”

At dinner I told my husband all this. While he seemed to be paying attention I’m not sure it was undivided (the TV was on & he’d worked a long day in 90+ degree weather). But I persevered.

As an afterthought, which got his attention, I added, “The 3 people I want most to ‘have a nice day’ are my dental hygienist, my gynecologist & the guy who does my colonoscopy. Each of them spends a lot of time ‘up in there’ & I want it to be positive quality time. From now on I’m sending them ALL a Hallmark card.” That obviously got his attention, although he stared at me as though I’d just landed at our dinner table from Mars.

He replied, “Absolutely …”

So now I’m sharing all these deep thoughts with you & hoping this encourages you to have some deep thoughts of your own about this subject.

Thank you so much for reading this &, oh …  have a nice day …

 

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MoviPrep: A Non-Theatrical Misnomer

13 Feb

Did you ever wonder about the guy who named the bowel prep medicine you take the day before your colonoscopy? I figure anybody who names that “A-bomb in a bottle” MoviPrep or GoLytely just has to have a sense of humor. He is, after all, responsible for the ultimate poop joke. Granted, his sense of humor almost certainly has to be a weird, fractured one … bordering on sadistic, & it’s obvious he has not reached that 50-year-old threshold to his first colonoscopy. If he had, he would have spent a lot more time looking for a better name for the pre-procedure medication.

If you’ve had the procedure, you know there’s really nothing to it. They wheel you into the procedure room on a stretcher, you meet your doctor & some very nice nurses & then you wake up back in your room. The only evidence there is of the procedure you’ve just had that rudely invaded your colon is an abdomen full of what has to be helium. At the point of waking, if you went with your inhibitions you would surely allow yourself to float right up to the ceiling. All that helium soon dissipates, though, gets a lot heavier & turns into an embarrassing pocket of gas that will clear a room. Well, it’s actually more like a duffle bag full of gas or maybe a Victorian trunk. Suffice it to say, it’s a lot.

But there’s nothing at all to the procedure. You blissfully sleep through it. All those awful predictors of gloom, doom & a fate worse than death were wrong. The actual colonoscopy is a piece of cake. What ISN’T a piece of cake is that bowel prep you take the day before the procedure that has been so inadequately named.

They suggest you mix it or chase it with apple juice or ginger ale to make it more palatable (depending on which prep you’ve been given). If you have the kind that goes down easier with juice or ginger ale, pick a juice or beverage you don’t like very much to begin with because later in your life you will NEVER be able to drink apple juice or ginger ale again without the taste being a grim reminder.

You take the MoviPrep or GoLytely in stages … a measured amount at specific times of the day before the procedure & first thing in the morning of the procedure. By first thing the morning of the procedure you no longer find anything amusing about the name of the prep & would eagerly strangle the person who named it that ridiculous name if you could get your hands around his neck. The prospect of exerting the amount of pressure necessary to bring down your prey, however, brings into play the possibility of a GoLytely incident of epic proportions & you decide to simply shoot him if you happen to have access to a firearm when you find out who he is. Daydreaming about this revenge is possibly what gets you through “Prep Day” & the following morning.

So back to the sadist responsible for naming something that does NOT go lightly, GoLytely. I think he must have been traumatized as a child. Somehow he has become friends with someone, also of the pre-50 age group, who was also traumatized in childhood & later named that other bowel prep MoviPrep.  He apparently escaped from his childhood trauma by slipping away to spend hours at the local theater’s  afternoon matinee. They have collaborated … not on the ingredients of the bowel preps but on the names. Maybe because of their coincidental trauma-filled backgrounds they are simply attempting to bring some levity into an otherwise humorless situation &, for that, I suppose we should thank them.

If we are able to laugh at the wicked things that crop up in our lives, we are half way to being able to tolerate them. We learn this as we travel through life, meeting adversity & dealing with it. We are reminded of it as we reach 50 & are handed our first 90 gallon jug of GoLytely or MoviPrep.

In the end (pun intended), colonoscopies save lives, so gird up your loins & wash down that GoLytely.  The guy who named it is hoping you have a day filled with laughter.

 

MoviPrep