I Ate a SNICKERS Today …

3 Jun

… not just a “Bite Size” or a “Fun Size” Snickers, but one of those “2 to Go” bars that has to weigh over a pound & has 2 almost full-size bars inside the wrapper. Each bar has 220 calories so that means my total caloric intake in just under 15 minutes equals 440 calories, which should be my entire caloric allowance for well over a week; maybe a month.  Total fat is 10 grams for just one of those “2 to Go” bars, so that’s a total of 20 grams of fat for the 2 bars I ate & that’s just scary. All that makes the cholesterol seem less worrisome at 10 mg for the 2 bars. But I ate the WHOLE thing & I’m not sorry. I’m GLAD. It was delicious & as those calories are making  a bee-line to my hips (from my lips to my hips) I’m telling myself I just don’t care. It was an earth-shaking experience & I LOVED it.

At least I didn’t wash that Snickers bar down with a Diet soft drink. I may be a glutton but I am NOT a hypocrite.

Willy sometimes brings a Snickers home to me because he knows I love them (those & Cadbury Eggs at Easter). I seldom eat candy & even less often make desserts … except occasionally when I make something like the strawberry pie I made on Tuesday because the strawberries were beautiful in the grocery store & they just SPOKE to me as I wheeled past them on my way to low fat bacon & cat food.

The last several times he’s brought me a Snickers I’ve saved them for later & today I suddenly realized I have a “stash.”  So I ate the whole thing & I still have 2 Snickers left in the cabinet (one of those is also another “2 to Go” double-decker) & my Snickers future looks very bright if I pace myself & forget they’re in there.

Somewhere behind my rib cage my pancreas is screaming.

I can still taste that caramel & nougat on my tongue. What the heck is nougat, anyway? I think it must be a mystery ingredient that makes Snickers addictive. Whatever it is, I don’t believe Snickers would be the same without it & whomever invented it or discovered it deserves an Oscar … or at the very least, an Emmy. It even SAYS it right there on the wrapper, “Snickers Satisfies” & that is the truest example of an understatement.

I think those guilty pleasures like Snickers are better because we know they aren’t so good for us. The fact that the ingredients are slithering around our hips & clogging our arteries just makes them taste better somehow because we know we aren’t supposed to be having all that stuff.

So why do they make them then? It’s some kind of conspiracy &, as I’m sitting here looking at that giant empty Snickers wrapper in my waste basket, I tell myself AGAIN  with determination … I just don’t care. That was one F-I-N-E Snickers bar & I’m glad I ate the thing … all of it … both bars.

Here’s what I think about life. I think life is short & mostly unpredictable & there’s a lot of sadness in this world. If anything … ANYTHING … can give us a few minutes pleasure … as long as no one else gets hurt … I say go for it. If it just happens to be a “2 to Go” Snickers bar, that makes it even better. It’s somehow a reward for making it through the unpredictability of life so far.

There’s a very calming quality to knowing there’s 2 more Snickers bars in the cabinet.

Sitting here with peanuts still hanging between my teeth, I’m looking back at the entire experience with something very close to love. I will think about it for a while & those memories will be fond ones.

I wonder if they still make Zagnut ……………..



4 Responses to “I Ate a SNICKERS Today …”

  1. Willy June 4, 2016 at 7:02 pm #

    So that was the screaming sounds I faintly heard . Like you said, you aren’t hurting anyone and before nougat? … my grandparents were eating fried fat from a pig (that’s actually quite good if you don’t think about it) and parts of animals that I won’t mention.
    I know you love those things … that’s why you get them every few months … wasn’t thinking you’d stash ’em and have a “nougfest”.
    Reminds me of my Stuckey’s Pecan Log story … “hmm, only 280 calories! … shucks I”LL EAT THE WHOLE THING” (didn’t know there was 16 servings … but that was me.
    You’ll be getting a replacement somewhere around September but I’ll see one on sale and forget the timeline … lucky you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • heimdalco June 4, 2016 at 7:53 pm #

      Too funny, Willy & I DO remember your Pecan Log story. You ate THE WHOLE THING … LOL. Maybe I get the whoofing down the SNICKERS from YOU!

      OK … I’ll be looking forward to replenishing my stash stock. THANK YOU!


  2. Teran Harrison June 6, 2016 at 3:55 pm #

    Hi Linda, I loved this article. Especially the ZZZZZZagnut ending. Teran and Jay

    Liked by 1 person

    • heimdalco June 6, 2016 at 4:09 pm #

      Thank you so much, Teran. Sometimes the simplest things (& simplest pleasures) spark an idea for a blog entry. That Snickers was just so good … & sinful … I had to write about it.

      Thank you both again for reading my stuff …


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