Hardwood Floors

1 Mar

I’ve been doing some very personal research on owning hardwood flooring & I just wanted to take a moment to share my findings with you. If you … like I … put in carpet 26 years ago in an effort to save money when your new house was built, but always really wanted hardwood floors & finally got them, then you may be able to relate to the findings of my research.

In the end … my research not withstanding … I love our new floors, but here are a few “truths” I’ve learned after owning hardwood flooring for a little while:

  1. Hardwood floors are beautiful & especially popular right now.
  2. Wide planks are just plain cool.
  3. The beauty of hardwood flooring may be enhanced by just the right area rug.
  4. They come in gloss, high gloss & any number of finishes depending on your taste & preference.
  5. All hardwood flooring scratches but you see the scratches much easier on dark wood flooring.
  6. Buy a “Magic Marker” the color of your flooring for quick fixes.
  7. A dust mop is your best friend.
  8. If you have shedding pets, their shedded hair resembles tumbleweed on hardwood flooring just 45 minutes after vacuuming.
  9. If you have dark wood floors, get dark-haired pets. They are available in every shelter, available for adoption, are looking for forever homes & are just as lovable as blond & light-haired pets.
  10. If you have a long-haired, cream-colored or white cat that you had before you installed dark hardwood flooring … dye the cat. It’s an investment in your cleaning future & makes cleaning a lot less labor intensive.
  11. If you own a “senior” cat that pees on his foot in clumpable litter & makes concrete-like tracks on your dark wood floors, buy the economy-size refill bottle of Bruce Hardwood Floor Care.  Keep it handy, because you will need it.
  12. If you own a geriatric cat (as referenced in #11), you will ALWAYS know where he is simply by following his concrete-like tracks on your dark wood floors to almost any location in your home.
  13. It is a GIVEN that NO ONE will drop by the afternoon after you’ve spent all morning cleaning your beautiful dark wood floors,  but EVERYONE you know & a bunch of people you’ve never heard of will drop by just as your geriatric cat has disembarked from the litter box & left tracks all over your dark wood floors. You can suggest a game of “Tracking the Cat” to your visitors but that’s pretty lame & in the end they KNOW you are the world’s WORST housekeeper who apparently tortures animals.
  14. When the concrete-like cat footprints disappear at the side of your bed & reappear on the floor at the other side of your bed … wash your comforter.
  15. If you own a senior, long-haired cat (as referenced in #11) that enjoys spending time in your empty bathtub where he leaves dark litter, concrete-like footprints (the gray litter turns dark when it gets wet), be resigned to scrubbing your tub with some regularity & especially before going for a leisurely soak just before bed.
  16. Develop a good relationship with a dependable, reputable plumber. Once that clumpable cat litter falls off your geriatric cat in your whirlpool tub & you wash it down the drain, it clumps when it dries & you will need that plumber if you ever hope to enjoy a leisurely, bedtime bath again. When he leaves & hands you a bill for extensive drain cleaning that actually required a jack hammer, try to avoid looking shocked at his fee per hour. You will need him again … & probably soon … & you don’t want to risk poor communications with the one person who will be responsible for your next leisurely bedtime bath.
  17. Whether your geriatric, long-haired cat pees on his foot & leaves concrete-like tracks on your dark hardwood flooring or not, he will definitely choose the middle of your dinner party to hop into the litter & cause a “pew” that will permeate the air, flow from room to room on an atomic-like cloud & clear a formal dinner table in a heartbeat.
  18.  With the proper care & maintenance your hardwood flooring will serve you well & retain its beauty for many years to come.
  19. With the proper care & maintenance, your geriatric long-haired cat will bring you more years of joy & unconditional love. And who can’t find it in their hearts to work around a few cinderblocks in the drain of their whirlpool tub or the task of removing frequent concrete-like cat footprints from dark hardwood floors?

 100_2499100_27930318152048    Kitchen Renovation 2012 076

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4 Responses to “Hardwood Floors”

  1. Les March 2, 2016 at 3:41 am #

    You are so funny Linda and you are so right, no one will ever drop by after you have cleaned the floors..hahahaha. Brush Max an extra time or two for me..bless his little geriatric heart. Love ya..Les

    Like

    • heimdalco March 2, 2016 at 3:56 am #

      LOL, Leslie … thank you for continuing to read my stuff. Haven’t had much time for writing lately but thought of this as I was actually cleaning the Max footprints off the living room floor today.

      Love you back …

      Like

  2. Willy March 2, 2016 at 12:25 pm #

    See … I told you that the carpet was better (we would never see the concrete tracks). But the picture of him on the bed is like “What?” I laughed even tho I see him everyday and love him even tho he’s my age now (in cat years of course). At least I can clean up my tracks from the litterbox.

    Like

    • heimdalco March 2, 2016 at 5:40 pm #

      TOO Funny, Willy … & thank you for cleaning up YOUR tracks.

      Max has brought us so much joy & so many hours of entertainment that neither of us really mind taking care of his concrete cat tracks (except maybe in my tub …)

      Love you

      Like

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