MoviPrep: A Non-Theatrical Misnomer

13 Feb

Did you ever wonder about the guy who named the bowel prep medicine you take the day before your colonoscopy? I figure anybody who names that “A-bomb in a bottle” MoviPrep or GoLytely just has to have a sense of humor. He is, after all, responsible for the ultimate poop joke. Granted, his sense of humor almost certainly has to be a weird, fractured one … bordering on sadistic, & it’s obvious he has not reached that 50-year-old threshold to his first colonoscopy. If he had, he would have spent a lot more time looking for a better name for the pre-procedure medication.

If you’ve had the procedure, you know there’s really nothing to it. They wheel you into the procedure room on a stretcher, you meet your doctor & some very nice nurses & then you wake up back in your room. The only evidence there is of the procedure you’ve just had that rudely invaded your colon is an abdomen full of what has to be helium. At the point of waking, if you went with your inhibitions you would surely allow yourself to float right up to the ceiling. All that helium soon dissipates, though, gets a lot heavier & turns into an embarrassing pocket of gas that will clear a room. Well, it’s actually more like a duffle bag full of gas or maybe a Victorian trunk. Suffice it to say, it’s a lot.

But there’s nothing at all to the procedure. You blissfully sleep through it. All those awful predictors of gloom, doom & a fate worse than death were wrong. The actual colonoscopy is a piece of cake. What ISN’T a piece of cake is that bowel prep you take the day before the procedure that has been so inadequately named.

They suggest you mix it or chase it with apple juice or ginger ale to make it more palatable (depending on which prep you’ve been given). If you have the kind that goes down easier with juice or ginger ale, pick a juice or beverage you don’t like very much to begin with because later in your life you will NEVER be able to drink apple juice or ginger ale again without the taste being a grim reminder.

You take the MoviPrep or GoLytely in stages … a measured amount at specific times of the day before the procedure & first thing in the morning of the procedure. By first thing the morning of the procedure you no longer find anything amusing about the name of the prep & would eagerly strangle the person who named it that ridiculous name if you could get your hands around his neck. The prospect of exerting the amount of pressure necessary to bring down your prey, however, brings into play the possibility of a GoLytely incident of epic proportions & you decide to simply shoot him if you happen to have access to a firearm when you find out who he is. Daydreaming about this revenge is possibly what gets you through “Prep Day” & the following morning.

So back to the sadist responsible for naming something that does NOT go lightly, GoLytely. I think he must have been traumatized as a child. Somehow he has become friends with someone, also of the pre-50 age group, who was also traumatized in childhood & later named that other bowel prep MoviPrep.  He apparently escaped from his childhood trauma by slipping away to spend hours at the local theater’s  afternoon matinee. They have collaborated … not on the ingredients of the bowel preps but on the names. Maybe because of their coincidental trauma-filled backgrounds they are simply attempting to bring some levity into an otherwise humorless situation &, for that, I suppose we should thank them.

If we are able to laugh at the wicked things that crop up in our lives, we are half way to being able to tolerate them. We learn this as we travel through life, meeting adversity & dealing with it. We are reminded of it as we reach 50 & are handed our first 90 gallon jug of GoLytely or MoviPrep.

In the end (pun intended), colonoscopies save lives, so gird up your loins & wash down that GoLytely.  The guy who named it is hoping you have a day filled with laughter.

 

MoviPrep

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9 Responses to “MoviPrep: A Non-Theatrical Misnomer”

  1. writersbridgebridgebuilder February 13, 2015 at 2:33 pm #

    Funny stuff.

    Date: Fri, 13 Feb 2015 00:51:20 +0000 To: writersbridge@hotmail.com

    Like

    • heimdalco February 13, 2015 at 4:55 pm #

      LOL … thanks, Darrell.

      Finally finding time to read your book & am enjoying it so much so far.

      Like

  2. Larry Whately February 13, 2015 at 9:59 pm #

    You have a strange brain, Linda.

    Like

    • heimdalco February 13, 2015 at 10:28 pm #

      You made me laugh out loud, Kathy & Larry. Thanks for reading my stuff.

      Hugs to you both …

      Like

      • Willy February 14, 2015 at 1:42 am #

        I heard her laugh and wondered why… now I know. Now that this is over with I’d say I like the GoLytely the best (not that many of you are in the market for a personal batch).
        Anyway, it’d be funny to take to a party and put in the punch bowl (bad Willy/BAD)

        Like

  3. Teran Harrison February 18, 2015 at 10:23 pm #

    Linda, having worked in endoscopy many years, I found your words hilarious as well as an encouragement to those in need of the procedure. Wish everyone could read it ! P.S. love my ginger ale. T e r a n

    Like

    • heimdalco February 18, 2015 at 10:27 pm #

      LOL, Teran … Thanks for reading. You are the second person who told me it was encouraging. That’s cool!

      I’m still drinking ginger ale, too.

      Like

  4. Saket Ambasht July 22, 2016 at 3:31 am #

    My own version is that the guy/gal who named Golytely was an Audrey Hepburn fan from Breakfast at Tiffany (she was named Golytely). The competitor named their product MoviPrep. I tell patients not to eat popcorn with their MoviPrep. I tell them to pray to God to let me be the guy who invents something better–if they ask me why I can’t make something better to drink. I tell them that when I am super rich and lounging around in the French Riveira surrounded by beautiful people and tasty drinks, I will remember to raise a toast to them.

    Like

    • heimdalco July 24, 2016 at 5:45 am #

      What a wonderful comment. Thank you for responding. You must be a physician or in the medical field. I am a retired OR RN.

      Thanks you again

      Like

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