The Power of UN

10 Sep

Way back in December of 2008 a friend invited me to join Facebook. I really had no interest in social media & I’d just begun chemotherapy for breast cancer in November. Not only did I lack interest; I lacked time. But my friend had just published a Facebook album of photos of her son; a child my husband & I had watched grow up since he was eight & she really wanted me to see her pictures.

Back then you had to have an account to see someone’s Facebook pictures. These days things are very different. Someone can send you the link to a Facebook album, you can click the link & see every picture in the album all day long without so much as a tweak to a Timeline or an adjustment to an “About” section… no Facebook account necessary.  In comparison to then, THESE are the “good old days.”

So at my friend’s urging I opened a Facebook account.

Opening that account was sort of like “Alice Down the Rabbit Hole.” I was suddenly propelled into the world of UN.  Like Alice & her side trips to visit the Cheshire Cat & a rollicking day of Flamingo Croquet with the Queen of Hearts, I had to work my way through Farmville, Yoville, Whoville, Whatville & Candy Crush in order to make my way to the Land of UN & to find out what it was.

I know a lot of people & soon had a lot of Facebook FRIENDS. I also had this problem; I didn’t want to offend anyone so for a while I was accepting every FRIEND request that came my way, whether I knew the “request sender” or not.  And the surprise was that almost every one of them played games like Farmville, Yoville, Candy Crush & all those other ‘villes & Slingo Lingos.

I didn’t have time to get involved in games & before I knew it I was getting several…& several more game app invitations every day. After a year or so it was UNbelievably annoying.

Finally a Facebook-savvy friend told me to BLOCK the invitations. She was such a good friend that she told me exactly how to do that. As of today, I have 139 game apps blocked & life on Facebook is simpler.

Every time I blocked a game it would be added to the growing list of blocked game apps & beside each one was the word Unblock.  Instead of deleting them, I left it that way in case I ever find time to take an agricultural sabbatical into the world of Yo & Farm. People really seem to enjoy them & it’s possible that I might, too, one day.

Shortly after acquainting myself with Unblock, one of my Facebook friends unfortunately died. I didn’t know him well but I found it distrubing to have Facebook suggest I tell him “Happy Birthday” once a year & schedule a gift for him. Worse still was Facebook’s insistence that I POKE him.

That same Facebook-savvy friend told me to simply UNFRIEND him & the notifications would stop. Over the past 6 years on Facebook several more FRIENDS have died & to this day I can’t bring myself to UNFRIEND them, even though I doubt that any of them would be offended.

But that’s how I took another side trip in the land of UN.

Since I’ve become privy to all this Facebook UNiliteracy, I’ve learned to FRIEND only people I personally “face-to-face” know or have had a lengthy positive interaction with through a personal “face-to-face” friend. It’s far more UNconfusing that way.

So I started thinking about all the avenues, hills & valleys in the Land of UN.

For years we’ve known about those mothers who were Unwed, those people who were Unmarried, plants that were left Unwatered & pregnancies that were Unplanned. Forever we’ve known about the zombies who are recurring parts of our culture &, before we even think about it, we know they are the Undead.

So what does this say for our current Facebook-saturated culture?

If our marriage is good & not the least bit rocky will we be considered Undivorced? If a blind date goes awry will we Undate him or her? Will we go to the gym to Unfat ourselves? If we arrive late at work will we tell our boss we Unremembered where we put our car keys? If we can overeat or overdrink & never get sick, are we blissfully enjoying Unvomiting & can someone actually Unlove us? I really need to know.

I actually have 3 Facebook pages now; my personal page, the page I administer for our club & my page as Linda Smith – Author. Currently I can’t make any changes or updates to the Author page because I have Unremembered that password.  It’s all very confusing.

I think I’m probably an OK person. I like people & seldom upset or anger anyone. But recently I had a problem with someone who was a FRIEND on Facebook; an actual “face-to-face” acquaintance, but no one I would call a true friend. Way out there on the outskirts of Facebook in another part of cyberspace bouncing among the “clouds” this person attacked me on regular email. Because I hate confrontations I simply did not reply. It’s not worth the stress or the loss of my time & I was OK with that; tough – I can take it.

But in the middle of a sleepless night I went down to my office & brought my computer to life. I went to that person’s Facebook page & pushed the UNFRIEND button & IT JUST FELT SO GOOD.

Whether I suffer from passive-aggressive behavior or not, or have indulged myself in something resembling adolescent high school behavior & drama (& I’ve given that some thought), the offensive person will probably never realize that I am missing from their FRIENDS list & that’s OK. What’s important is that it gave me a great deal of satisfaction to push that UNFRIEND button & I slept the rest of the night like a newborn baby baboon being rocked in the furry warmth of its adoring mama’s arms. Being a frequent sufferer from insomnia, THAT is the REAL “Power of UN.”

cheshire cat



6 Responses to “The Power of UN”

  1. Gail September 10, 2014 at 10:11 pm #

    Thank you for the education on
    “UN.” Yep the UNfriending of some UNfun people is a private smirk sometimes. You never have to wonder if I have UNfriended you cuz you are tooooo much FUN!!! Love ya!


  2. Anthony Moshonas September 11, 2014 at 1:36 am #

    Very Good Linda,,!!,,,You are Unbelievable !!!!! Put your mind at rest as I will Never Unfriend You. I could not I do it to a real Friend!! Luv Ya’ 🙂


    • heimdalco September 11, 2014 at 4:59 am #

      Thank you, Tony. I appreciate the comment. That was my only UNFRIEND EVER. i can’t even make myself UNFRIEND dead people … LOL.


  3. Betty Hudson September 11, 2014 at 3:10 am #

    I have blocked annoying notifications (but not unfriended that person) only once. Like you, i do not respond to the games.

    Sent from my iPhone



    • heimdalco September 11, 2014 at 4:56 am #

      That was the only time I’ve ever UNFRIENDED anyone. I have a hard time doing stuff like that. As you can see, I can’t even make myself UNFRIEND dead people …. LOL. Thanks, Bettty …


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