Door-to-Door Meat

14 Jan

Maybe it’s because we live out here in the county (not quite in the “boonies” but not in Lynchburg either; more rural than city) that we get at least once every-other-month at our door someone selling door-to-door meat. I don’t even know if people in the city have this “remarkable offer & service” but after a while it gets to be annoying. Oh, & this is NOT the Swan guy who enjoys a fairly good reputation for door-to-door food.

What happens is that someone in a truck … a small truck … not a Mack truck or a refrigerated average size truck …pulls into your driveway & out hops a guy who heads for your front door. These guys are usually wearing jeans & hoodies & look clean, meaning they have haircuts & don’t smell funny. I’ve never kept one long enough at my door to check out his nails & probably, subconsciously, I didn’t want to…either keep him there for an extended period of time or check out his nails.

Anyway, they usually begin by asking, “Do you like meat?” A better approach & one that might indicate some level of class would be to ask, “Are you a vegetarian?”  If you answer yes to the “Do you like meat?” question (& don’t unless you have time to hear “the rest of the story”) then the “street meat monger” will tell you about these beautiful steaks – filets, rib eyes & T-Bones, beef tips & roasts & pre-made already pattied burgers that are just waiting for you in his truck. And these fantastic, fresh cut (recently killed???) meats are available to you at “bargain basement prices.” WOW! Meat from a bargain basement!!! If they can just sign you up, they will deliver this gift of wrapped & frozen meat on a monthly or weekly basis… customer’s choice.

After my first encounter being “meat solicited” I learned just to say I was sorry but we are vegetarians. The meat solicitor usually puts on a face that is similar to one you might see on someone who has been told his winning the lottery was just a joke. Usually, to their credit, they aren’t pushy & sort of leave, hat in hand, head down & walking at a much slower pace. It’s obvious your rejection has ruined his day & perhaps been a life altering event.

What concerns me is where does this door-to-door meat really come from? If the quality is so fabulous, why isn’t it bringing top dollar at the market? How long has it been frozen? Is it REALLY beef? I have a real aversion to consuming Thumper & Rocky & I’m not too crazy about Bullwinkle either. If it’s “gamy” I’d prefer not to have it on my table & if, by some mistake it ends up there, I’d like to be told honestly what it is & where it came from.

I’m not suggesting the “mobile meat guys” are pushing road kill. I don’t imagine they could do what they’re doing without some kind of license (could they?) And maybe, comparatively, we don’t actually know what we’re getting at the grocery store either but I still have a greater sense of trust in a rib eye that has been packaged & wears a Kroger, WalMart or Food Lion label. I’m just funny that way.

Today’s door-to-door meat peddler DID have a truck that had a picture on the side advertising meat. There was even a picture of meat on the grill looking like you’d expect it to & reminding me, in this frigid weather, of summers & hamburgers & picnics.  But even with those positives I just couldn’t bring myself to enter into an “animal flesh contract” with a guy selling Quality Discount Meat out of the back of a truck. Something just doesn’t feel right about that.

Admittedly, today after the “meat-in-a-truck” guy left I started seriously considering becoming a vegetarian. We mostly eat chicken & fish anyway but enjoy other meat, too, but not enough to buy the discounted prime cuts offered from a door-to-door meat truck. I believe we’ll just stick with fins & feathers for now unless young men in jeans & hoodies start coming to our door offering Quality Discount Poultry & Fish. That would be too much of a sensory overload & I simply don’t want to go there.

Perhaps the best bet is just not answering the door unless the person ringing the bell is your Orkin man or obviously wearing a FedEx uniform & has a package in his hand that isn’t frozen.

 I’m thinking about putting a sign at the front door right above the bell that says:

   We are vegetarians (not meat eaters)

   Thank you but we had family prayer earlier this morning

   We have self-cleaning gutters

   Man of the house LOVES doing our lawn care

   Our downspouts don’t need painting

   We both gave at the office

   Sorry, we haven’t seen your dog

   GIRL SCOUTS WELCOME – Please bring cookies

           *                 *               *                 *

I do a lot of research & here’s what I found out:




8 Responses to “Door-to-Door Meat”

  1. Betty Hudson January 14, 2014 at 1:26 am #

    They come here too but I tell them we do not like meat (not true) & shut the door. I would not trust what they are selling. Some cats in our area are gone–any connection. Haha

    Sent from my iPhone



    • heimdalco January 14, 2014 at 1:42 am #

      Betty … your reply made me really laugh out loud. I’m praying the door-to-door meat guys aren’t decreasing the local feline population. I wouldn’t trust eating this stuff & was glad I found the Fox News report to back up my gut feeling about it. Thanks for responding …


  2. Gail M. January 14, 2014 at 7:21 am #


    Sent from my LG Mobile


  3. Willy S. January 14, 2014 at 12:49 pm #

    Good story Linda (and true!) The last meat guy I dealt with said he was on his route and had ONE EXTRA package of meats he would sell at a discounted price. I asked him if I could buy a couple of steaks to try out and he couldn’t break the “package” up. I never thought of deception to get him off my back.
    I enjoyed the way you put it together!


    • heimdalco January 14, 2014 at 5:35 pm #

      Thanks, Willy. I’m glad you’ve been home & able to “experience” dealing with an “animal flesh peddler.” I remember when that happened.


  4. monkeys22013 January 16, 2014 at 2:41 am #

    Good story and funny too Linda!!!


    • heimdalco January 16, 2014 at 3:07 am #

      Thanks, Leslie. I keep getting ideas from what’s happening … LOL. I guess I expected it because I titled my blog “My view of life as it happens.” Suddenly there’s just much to write about …. Thank you again


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